Intense rain and hot sun.

©Chuck Duboff

The sun shone brightly, rays bouncing off the blue water, beautiful heat filling the air.  The long walk, along the sparkling, sand filled beach, had filled the soul.  While the sound of Jimmy Buffet travelled through the white I-Pod buds, much contemplation under the hot summer sun, filled his mind.

Adorned in the expected Yankees hat, strategically placed backwards, board shorts and a cut off red shirt, he had started the walk hours ago.  There was so much that had occurred during the past few months, that the thought of a cathartic walk had a great deal of appeal.  The initial road was filled with sharp edged rocks, which nearly penetrated the black flip flops; meandering in and out of the overhanging, tall trees, navigating steep, moss filled hills, his heart pounded quickly.

What to make of the challenges life had recently presented; the abrupt ending to a chaotic relationship, the recognition and admittance that medicine was needed to control his Depression, an unexpected two week holiday amidst the Latin people he so regularly gravitated towards…what to make of it all?

The expansive waters of Falcon Lake poked through the protective trees; carefully, he worked his way through the strong branches and found a welcoming, giant grey rock to sit upon.  Bob Marley music visited and provided a rhythmic Rasta beat, while he sat and looked out on to the shimmering lake.  He stared at the colourful beads which adorned his wrist, and recognized the authentic feeling they gave him.  His neck was surrounded by brightly adorned necklaces, each holding its own special memory of visits to Cuba and Mexico.  He wondered where this love of the Latin culture and all things Reggae came from.  A recollection of spending a long, hot, sensuous night at a Reggae Club in Cancun, filled his soul.  A warm smile, and a genuine feeling of happiness overcame him.

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Yet, once again, it came back to the wonderment of the past few months.  How life could change so very abruptly, both fascinated and confused him.  The heat was overbearing, so he drank some water and kept moving along the tree covered trail.  His thoughts returned to the relationship; two and a half years of an up and down, at times wonderful, and at times difficult partnership.  So many great times had been had, yet when it came to critical moments, it seemed that the painful times trumped the special ones.  Too much pain ensued, and for every step forward it seemed that two steps back were taken.  Despite all the dreams, the plans, the excitement of a life together, the foundation of the relationship was too weak and finally it all crashed.  A painful, heartfelt crash, which led to much soul searching.  As he turned back and contemplated heading down to the beach, he realized that without the ending of the relationship, he would never have turned to the medicine that eventually brought peace and happiness to his life.

November 12, 2013.  He bared his soul to his doctor, a friend whom he had gone to high school with and someone he trusted implicitly,  Under the hot sunshine, he remembered the depths to which he shared with his doctor, fell apart, cried and made it abundantly clear that he needed help…any help, but he needed someway to change the course of his life.  Deep in thought, he navigated his way down to the hot, sandy beach, listened to Springsteen and returned to his life altering appointment with his friend.  There finally had been an acceptance of the Depression which had always controlled his life; an even bigger acceptance that he could not win this battle with this evil disease and a recognition that he needed help.  A strong daily dose of antidepressant was prescribed, and within days a light ness had overtaken him…a feeling that yes, he was finally doing what was necessary.

A deep sigh came out as he sat down in the sand, while under the blazing sun.  He thought about the spectacular beaches of Playa del Carmen; the long morning runs on the sand and the breath taking Caribbean by his side.  The holiday was meant as an escape from all that had occurred, from the exhausting past few months.  He remembered long hours spent by the pool, listening to Neil Young and watching beautiful Latino women in their hot bikinis.  Lots of writing was done every morning, trying to find an understanding, to make sense of it all; little headway was made through the journaling.  So it was two weeks of intense rain and hot sun, long walks down the exciting and exotic Fifth Avenue and many long talks with wonderful Mexican people.

Suddenly, the time on Falcon Beach had led to a little too much sun; he walked into the cooling water and  contemplated the expansive lake.  “Down by the River”, his Neil Young go to contemplative song, played over and over as he walked in the cool, Falcon waters.

 

“Down By The River”

Neil Young

 

Be on my side,

I’ll be on your side,

baby

There is no reason

for you to hide

It’s so hard for me

staying here all alone

When you could be

taking me for a ride.

 

Yeah, she could drag me

over the rainbow,

send me away

Down by the river

I shot my baby

Down by the river,

Dead, oh, shot her dead.

 

You take my hand,

I’ll take your hand

Together we may get away

This much madness

is too much sorrow

It’s impossible

to make it today.

 

Yeah, she could drag me

over the rainbow,

send me away

Down by the river

I shot my baby

Down by the river,

Dead, oh, shot her dead.

 

Be on my side,

I’ll be on your side,

baby

There is no reason

for you to hide

It’s so hard for me

staying here all alone

When you could be

taking me for a ride.

 

Yeah, she could drag me

over the rainbow,

send me away

Down by the river

I shot my baby

Down by the river,

Dead, oh, shot her dead.

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7 thoughts on “Intense rain and hot sun.

  1. Superb writing Chuck! Great descriptions, and a wonderful flow of the narrative! At the end of your prose, I want to keep reading. Very well written, Chuck!!!

    Like

  2. What a wonderful description. I must say, life has its ups and downs but, it sure does give you strength to write such powerful words to touch peoples hearts. Your story really moved me. As though I felt every part of every word written. Absolutely beautiful.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Over 5000 Views of chuckduboff.com Thank you so very much. | Chuck's Eclectic Blog

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