© Chuck Duboff
I don’t know why I have always been attracted to women like Martha. An edge, that’s what they had to have. Got so bored when I tried to have a relationship with a “cookie cutter’ woman; but give me a woman with funky hair, tattoos, a lot younger than me, a former hooker, way out there tastes in music, unconventional clothes, piercings…those women got my attention. A hippie girl, any age, now that is cool…that is a relationship for me…
Martha’s persona online sparked my curiosity; it felt like she was challenging men to find a way to get her attention, to like her. Her blonde hair, smoking hot body and in your face attitude drew me to her. She isn’t the kinda girl you take home to mom, but rather, if you ever get past the wall she puts up, you know it would be electric.
I’ve had a few relationships which pushed the envelope; engaged to a nymphomaniac ballet dancer who turned out to be an alcoholic; a woman 25 years younger who turned out to be a gold digger, a crazy hot woman named Kat who could never deal with the sexual abuse she had experienced as a kid. These are the kind of women I’ve always taken an interest in…an edge.
Oh, I’ve tried having a relationship with a “normal, conventional woman”, whatever that is. Dress conservatively, have few interests, boring sex, unmotivated and little desire to experience life, to experiment a little…just go through the motions of normalcy. This, this, this drove me crazy and didn’t last long.
So, Martha appears online and I go right for her, not once, but twice. She deep sixed me once before when we were supposed to go out, but that wasn’t enough for me…I was going to conquer this woman. I thought I broke through this time…man I was wired when she agreed to go out…
But she got me yet again..perhaps one day, it’ll be explained to me why I am drawn to women like Martha, like Kat, Tannis and Deidre. That little voice inside me always tells me to be careful, but i just laugh and go for it.