The 2017 Doobie Awards…by Chuck Duboff

 

  1.  The “highest” award goes to:  the Liberal government for the legalization of Mary Jane!!!
  2. The “Great Canadian” award goes to: the late, great Gord Downie…the embodiment of what it means to be Canadian.
  3. The “fitting irony” of the year award goes to: Brian Pallister getting lost while hiking and breaking his arm…hmm, wonder if he needed medical care?
  4. The “champions” award goes to: the Winnipeg Goldeyes for their Back to Back championships in the American Association.
  5. The “fixing an obvious problem” goes to: Winnipeg Mayor Brian Bowman for making Uber finally happen…perhaps taxi service in Winnipeg will get up to contemporary standards.Andrew-Harris0-1600x900
  6. The “good guy” award goes to: Winnipeg Blue Bomber Andrew Harris and all that he does around the city for youth… and the manner in which he proudly talks of his hometown Winnipeg.
  7. The “ugliest beard” of the year award…not only unanimous, but even my 92 year old mother said: when is Patrick Laine going to cut that Ugly Beard!!laine beard
  8. The “dictator wannabe” award for 2017, in another unanimous vote…goes to Herr Trump and his band of hillbilly supporters.
  9. The “sickening human being” award goes to: Harvey Weinstein…a deplorable Hollywood kingpin whose treatment of women should have him castrated in front of cheering women.
  10. The “heroes” of the year award goes to: all the women speaking up about the sexual harassment they are always having to fight off.
  11. Honourable mentions for “good guy” of the year award:   Desiree Scott, Andrew Collier, Ace Burpee, Maurice Legget and Reggie Abercrombie…great individuals, in the public eye, who make Winnipeg a better city.
  12. The “gift that keeps on giving” award: going back to the Evander Kane trade and all the players we got in return: Joel Armia, Tyler Myers, Brendan Lemieux and Jack Roslovic.
  13. The “phrase that I’m tired of hearing” award goes to: “it’s so fuckin cold out there”.  Thanks Mr. Obvious.
  14. The “I’m going to miss these people a lot” award goes to: Mary Tyler Moore, Gord Downie, Johnny Bower, Greg Allman, David Cassidy, Roy Halliday,Tom Petty, Malcom Young…RIP all.ac
  15. The “why the freak did my family land in Winnipeg when they were escaping from Russia: award goes to: my Mom’s family who were escaping the slaughter of Jews in Russia…half the family landed in Philadelphia, while the rest ended up in the frozen tundra of Winnipeg.   The award is all yours!!
  16. The award for “making Winnipeg an even greater place” to those who redesigned the Forks…it looks amazing and world class now!!
  17. The “I can’t believe what I am actually seeing” award goes to: Winnipeg Jets fans seeing the Jets tied for first place overall in the NHL a few weeks ago!!
  18. The “ventriloquist” of the year award goes to: Vladamir Putin and the spectacular manner in which he controls his puppet, Donald TrumpTrump and Putin
  19. The “who woulda thunk it” award goes to the hippies of the ’60’s shaking their head in disbelief seeing marijuana being legalized everywhere.
  20. The “great corporate citizens of Winnipeg” award goes to: True North Sports and Entertainment, TNSE, for all they are doing to make Winnipeg a great city to live in.  It’s not just the Jets, but all the concerts, charity work, downtown construction that are breathing new life into Winnipeg.
  21. The “one book that everybody should read” award goes to: 1984 by George Orwell.  If you want to understand what is happening in the United States today and where it is headed…this is a must read.big bro
  22. And…the “who would have ever believed the Yankees would have both HR champions of 2017” award goes to: the Yankees and their trade for Giancarlo Stanton…Stanton and Judge batting back to back…good luck pitchers!!the men
  23. The award for “being very special people…having gone through a very difficult year” and who continue to inspire me goes to: Hilda and Rudy Arias…you two are great people and deserve a wonderful 2018.rudy and hilda
  24.  The award for “the late night talk show host who had the balls to go up against Herr Trump” goes to: (a four way tie) Steven Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Myers for their getting the truth out there and there non stop slash and burning of Herr Trump and his minions!!
  25. Finally, theee “who would believe it” award goes to Scott Mortland of San Diego, California, who has adopted Winnipeg and its sports teams.  Sadly, San Diego lost its Chargers and Scott embraced the Bombers as his new team; he came up here twice for Bombers games and was blown away by a Jets game!!  It’s -47 wind chill up here today Scott…so being the honorary Winnipeg citizen that you are…send some heat our way!!  FYI…the love and caring you have for your son Gregory is an inspiration to all pal.

    scott

    That’s Scott, Bob Irving, Doug Brown and Scott’s son, Gregory!!

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